VOLUME III, SEMESTER 3, CHAPTER 36, SECTION 1
Two in a marriage, and a house of three generations
The last chapter counted the by need by place, from a bowl of rice to a strange land. This chapter changes the way of counting: count by relation. Because this thing the by need lives in the relation between man and man. However large the relation, that large it can grow. Count from the smallest length of relation: two men. First look at a husband and wife, then look at a house of three generations under one roof.
One, a husband and wife, the two words used together
First look at a husband and wife. This is the smallest, and the tightest, length of relation in the human world.
A husband and wife live their days, and you find those two rules, the by labor and the by need, are wound together, used together. There is a face of the by labor: the two go apart to earn, go apart to carry the housework, and who does more, who carries the heavier, each has a scale in the heart, and this is by labor. But once one of them falls, this scale at once changes. One falls sick, and the other will not say, you earned no money this month, did no housework, so I mind you the less. Just the reverse, he takes the whole load over, keeps watch day and night, and looks for not a cent of return. At this moment that scale of the by labor is put away, and what is put on is the rule of the by need: you now most need caring for, so I care for you with all my force.
A good husband and wife, the most moving thing in them, is this skill of changing the rule. On the ordinary day, the two rules propped and used, each spending his force, each keeping a little account, this is by labor. But come the moment one is most frail, most in need, that scale that reckons, said to be put away is put away, and on goes that rule that asks only whether you need. Neither will, at the other’s hardest, draw out the account book to reckon. This is distribution by need, living in this smallest relation between two men. It is not forever at the front, it is at the most needful moment pushed to the very front.
Two, that line of last term joins back here
To speak of husband and wife caring for one another, join back a most needful line of last term. Last term, speaking of the slave and the master, we set it up: in one same relation, two men are slave and master to each other, and husband and wife are the plainest of it.
Now see, in this relation of being slave and master to each other, they are also by need to each other. Today you fall sick, I care for you by your need, and this moment I am the end that gives. Tomorrow I fall, you care for me by my need, and you become the end that gives. Two men, you give me and I give you, taking turns, neither the forever giver, neither the forever receiver. This is the steadiest look of the by need in a healthy relation: it is two directioned, it is by turns, it is a coming and going of you and me.
This layer is greatly needful, hold it dead. The healthy by need is always two directioned. Today I care for you, because you need. Another day you care for me, because I need. It is not one end forever giving, one end forever taking. Once it turns into one end forever giving and one end forever taking with an easy heart, then this relation is sick, and that by need has turned in taste. This turned taste is the first sprout of the hidden trouble chapter thirty eight goes on purpose to look at. Here we first set it down: for the by need to be healthy, it must be two directioned, the one directioned by need, that only takes in and never gives out, sooner or later goes wrong.
Three, a house of three generations under one roof
From two men, enlarge to a house of three generations under one roof. Here the by need grows into a denser net.
In a house, the old above, the small below, the generation that carries the house in the middle. See how the things flow in this net. That middle generation puts out the most labor, earns the most, yet what it gets is often not the most. The best things flow to one end to the old, to one end to the child. The old earn no more, the child cannot yet earn, yet they are the two ends most carefully cared for in this house. This is that old and small looked at in chapter thirty two, and this time we look at the direction the things flow in this net: from that middle generation which puts out the most labor, toward the two ends that put out the least.
See it clear, this direction runs exactly reverse to the by labor. The by labor is whoever puts out more takes more, the things should heap onto the middle generation. Yet in a house the things flow, on the contrary, from the middle toward the two ends, to the old and small who can least earn. This reverse direction, on what does it lean. It leans exactly on that take from the too much and make up the not enough of chapter thirty two, on that tenderness in a house that need not be spoken. The too much of the middle generation, of itself, makes up toward the not enough of the old and small. A house is a machine that every day does the take from the too much and make up the not enough, and does it willingly, does it not feeling at all that it is a sacrifice.
Four, make fit your house and home, gladden your wife and children
To speak of this warmth in a house where above and below are both minded, call a line from the Book of Songs, which sketched the look of a house in concord. Make fit your house and home, gladden your wife and children. So runs the line in the Book of Songs, the Lesser Odes.
Put it plain. Fit is in concord, at ease. Your is your. House and home is a household of men. Gladden is to make glad. Wife and children, the wife and the children. Together: let your household be in concord and at ease, let your wife and children all be glad. This line speaks the best look of a house: not that some one man alone enjoys, but that the whole house, old and small, every one is settled well, every one glad.
Think, how does a house reach make fit your house and home, all above and below glad. It leans exactly on the thing this section speaks of: the two rules propped and used, each spending his force in the ordinary, and at the needful the by need pushed to the front, the things flowing from the end that has too much toward the end that is not enough, so the old have nourishing, the young have a leaning place, the sick have someone to mind them. A house that can make the whole household glad is surely a house that uses this rule of the by need well. It lets no one man, for being unable to put out labor for a while, be left cold, be shorted. In these four words, make fit your house and home, sits exactly this heart of the by need that leaves no one out. This is the fullest look of distribution by need on the scale of a house.
Five, what this section set, crossing to the next
Good. This section counted the by need by relation, from the smallest two men.
Looking at a husband and wife, it saw clear the two rules are wound together, used together: the by labor each spending his force in the ordinary, and come the moment one is most frail, that reckoning scale, said to be put away is put away, and on goes the rule that asks only whether you need. Joining back that line of last term, it saw clear the healthy by need is two directioned, by turns, and one end forever giving, one end forever taking, is sick. Enlarging to a house of three generations, it saw the things flow, reverse to the by labor, from the middle generation that puts out the most, toward the old and small that put out the least, leaning on that take from the too much and make up the not enough, that tenderness need not be spoken. Through the Book of Songs, make fit your house and home, it set up the fullness of a house that leaves no one out.
The position this section set is: the by need lives in the relation between man and man, from two men to a house, leaning on the two directioned tenderness, and on that direction of things flowing from the too much to the not enough.
So, this by need, pushed one ring further out from a house, where does it reach. Push out the house door, and there are neighbors not known, a whole enterprise, a place. In these places with no blood kin, is that tenderness still to be leaned on, does the by need still stand. The next section pushes this relation, from the house, to the neighbor, to the enterprise, to a place.
Credit to the ancestors; the mistakes are mine: Tiger Lyon.